At some point in our lives, maybe even at many points, we begin to look back on the way things have been so far. We examine the person that we have been, the choices that we've made and all the different things that we may even regret. When chapters of our lives come to an end most people start to do this. They think about how fast it all went, the great times they had, and the should have, could have, would have's.
A teacher of mine gave his 'last lesson' today during class and really got me to thinking. He spoke about how he never had the courage to tell the girl that he had loved since 6th grade how he felt about it. Only during an anonymous complimenting that he was brave enough to do this. Then he questioned how could his life be different now, he thought about the would have's. Even at this point in life I know that I don't want to look back and think that way. I want to live my life in a way that while I might make the wrong choices. I will know that I made choices that were exactly everything that I wanted, in that moment. They might be ones that seconds after I have decided to do them I wonder maybe this was not my shinning moment, but I wanted it and that means it means something to me.
I believe this is a way to live each day. We will face choices each and every moment of our lives; do what makes you happy, be who you want, live your life because it is what you want to do, not what someone else does. In life we only get a few do-overs, if any. Why hold our breath for something that may never happen? Why not take the chance to make it happen? Even if we wish we decided to not do it in the end, in the moment was it worth it?
I know I want to be able to say to my family when I am 60, 'you know, I may have made some bad choices but dang if you could have been there!" I know that I don't want to look back on my life and wonder what could have happened if I told someone 'I love you,' questioning if they would have said it back. I know I don't want to go back to my reunion and tell someone I never told you, but...
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
butterfly fly away.
I have this HUGE fear of stairs, escalators, clowns, and moths...and butterflies. Yes, butterflies. They creep me out, I dislike them and they just bother me a lot! Irrational, but for those whom know me, when am I usually rational? Exactly. However, this will come more into play later on.
On April 25, 2012, my dad passed away around 1:20 in the afternoon; I was holding his hand. Most people said that I calmed him down, they could tell when I was around that he felt better. They said that this is why he waited, and why instead of my mom, whom had been there without leave, I was the one he was ready to say goodbye with. A good friend of mine, said that this was because if he saw that his baby girl was alright, that he knew it was okay.
On April 24, 2012, I called my mom to tell her and my dad that I had won my FFA CDE and would be going to Nationals. Through my happiness, slowly my mother broke me the news. I would need to come home right after, and would need to go directly to the nursing home. That night, I said my goodbyes to the man that had raised me for 18 years.
On April 25, around 2:00, I went back to class. It was the only thing I could do. After school I went to track, and most people just thought it was a normal day. Certain people knew but that was my own doing. I had always isolated myself when it came to problems, everyone in the family did, still does.
The next day was another day for me. I woke up went to school, and most people didn't say anything. Most people didn't know what to say. Then again, I wouldn't know what to say to an 18 year old who's father had just passed away either. So I did what I had always done, put on my big pants and dealt with it. I figured if I pretended that I was okay, everyone else would believe it too.
Friends and family members started to share their love and sympathy. However, the people that I thought would be there, weren't. It felt like they almost had no idea, and although all these people were there for me, I still felt alone. Even though, they probably could have still been there for me, but I had already decided I wasn't going to be that person. The one who needed all the help in the world, who was an open mess, and couldn't handle it all. I was going to be strong.
So, I continued to do things that I would normally have done. The day after, I ran in my second track meet of the season. About half way through the meet, it clicked for me. I wasn't ready to be there. I needed my rock, my backbone, I needed the person who was the only one who understood by never understanding a thing I said; I needed my dad.
A meet later though, I began to try and see the beauty in things. Dad was ready to go, he was better off, I may not have been but God does things that he understands. In these things though, he makes sure we are never alone. At this meet, there was a butterfly that landed on my things, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get it to move. Finally, after multiple tries, it finally flew away and I went about my business. I disliked butterflies and was happy that it was gone.
It wasn't until the next day that it clicked. Being at school was too hard, and I had to go home. On my walk, again I was pestered by this stinking bug! It would not leave me alone, driving me insane. I went home and managed to only cry a little before falling back asleep with yet another dream about dad. Later that day it all started to make sense. Dad had always been a little bit of a hippie, and loved the bright colors of butterflies. Plus, they can get kind of annoying, like a good dad does.
Whether it really was him or not I don't care; he's there still, every single day. Even if he decides to annoy me by being a bug that I hate so much, knowing he's there some how makes it easier to make it through the day.
butterfly don't fly away.
On April 25, 2012, my dad passed away around 1:20 in the afternoon; I was holding his hand. Most people said that I calmed him down, they could tell when I was around that he felt better. They said that this is why he waited, and why instead of my mom, whom had been there without leave, I was the one he was ready to say goodbye with. A good friend of mine, said that this was because if he saw that his baby girl was alright, that he knew it was okay.
On April 24, 2012, I called my mom to tell her and my dad that I had won my FFA CDE and would be going to Nationals. Through my happiness, slowly my mother broke me the news. I would need to come home right after, and would need to go directly to the nursing home. That night, I said my goodbyes to the man that had raised me for 18 years.
On April 25, around 2:00, I went back to class. It was the only thing I could do. After school I went to track, and most people just thought it was a normal day. Certain people knew but that was my own doing. I had always isolated myself when it came to problems, everyone in the family did, still does.
The next day was another day for me. I woke up went to school, and most people didn't say anything. Most people didn't know what to say. Then again, I wouldn't know what to say to an 18 year old who's father had just passed away either. So I did what I had always done, put on my big pants and dealt with it. I figured if I pretended that I was okay, everyone else would believe it too.
Friends and family members started to share their love and sympathy. However, the people that I thought would be there, weren't. It felt like they almost had no idea, and although all these people were there for me, I still felt alone. Even though, they probably could have still been there for me, but I had already decided I wasn't going to be that person. The one who needed all the help in the world, who was an open mess, and couldn't handle it all. I was going to be strong.
So, I continued to do things that I would normally have done. The day after, I ran in my second track meet of the season. About half way through the meet, it clicked for me. I wasn't ready to be there. I needed my rock, my backbone, I needed the person who was the only one who understood by never understanding a thing I said; I needed my dad.
A meet later though, I began to try and see the beauty in things. Dad was ready to go, he was better off, I may not have been but God does things that he understands. In these things though, he makes sure we are never alone. At this meet, there was a butterfly that landed on my things, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get it to move. Finally, after multiple tries, it finally flew away and I went about my business. I disliked butterflies and was happy that it was gone.
It wasn't until the next day that it clicked. Being at school was too hard, and I had to go home. On my walk, again I was pestered by this stinking bug! It would not leave me alone, driving me insane. I went home and managed to only cry a little before falling back asleep with yet another dream about dad. Later that day it all started to make sense. Dad had always been a little bit of a hippie, and loved the bright colors of butterflies. Plus, they can get kind of annoying, like a good dad does.
Whether it really was him or not I don't care; he's there still, every single day. Even if he decides to annoy me by being a bug that I hate so much, knowing he's there some how makes it easier to make it through the day.
butterfly don't fly away.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
live like you were dying.
Must of us have a list of what we would like to do before we die, our bucket list. They can be things that we wish we did when we first had the chance, or just things that we always hoped could happen, and deep down still pray that one day they will. So people have fulfilled their lists, while often people sadly fall short, and are never able to complete their all, if any of their lists. Now days, there are even people out there that make it a life's work making their lists come true, while still managing to help others cross things off.
This group is called The Buried Life, and rather making an entire post in regards to who they are and what they do you can look them up -- http://www.theburiedlife.com/ -- great book. In their book they talk about how they became the four men that they are now, and how they joined The Buried Life. They also talk about different people's stories, and how they were able to make a difference, in the world, my ultimate goal in life.
As a high school junior, last year I was asked to begin looking at what I wanted to do before I died. This was a moment that really hit home. My parents had already both been declared state 4 cancer patients, and ultimately would never recover from it. Finding out bad news like that for the first time when you are 15 shakes your entire world, and hearing it again at 16, sends everything spiraling downward. At that age, you aren't supposed to be thinking about death and dying, or wondering how long you could have a parent. At that age, you are supposed to worry about your friends, clothes, boys, and homework. Now though, I was faced with the assignment, of deciding what I wanted to do before my life ended, what I wanted to be remembered for doing.
When we started the assignment, we were told that in reality we could change our list any time we wanted; regardless, I still believe that keeping your list the same is the best way to go. Unless you spell something wrong, or something awkward like that, then maybe you can be the exception, but realistically if it something that at any moment you truly want to do, it should be there because it will make you happy.
This is my list:
*Anyone game for stealing bowling shoes, or a shopping cart, let me know. (#40 & #45)
**Or any other ones :)
This group is called The Buried Life, and rather making an entire post in regards to who they are and what they do you can look them up -- http://www.theburiedlife.com/ -- great book. In their book they talk about how they became the four men that they are now, and how they joined The Buried Life. They also talk about different people's stories, and how they were able to make a difference, in the world, my ultimate goal in life.
As a high school junior, last year I was asked to begin looking at what I wanted to do before I died. This was a moment that really hit home. My parents had already both been declared state 4 cancer patients, and ultimately would never recover from it. Finding out bad news like that for the first time when you are 15 shakes your entire world, and hearing it again at 16, sends everything spiraling downward. At that age, you aren't supposed to be thinking about death and dying, or wondering how long you could have a parent. At that age, you are supposed to worry about your friends, clothes, boys, and homework. Now though, I was faced with the assignment, of deciding what I wanted to do before my life ended, what I wanted to be remembered for doing.
When we started the assignment, we were told that in reality we could change our list any time we wanted; regardless, I still believe that keeping your list the same is the best way to go. Unless you spell something wrong, or something awkward like that, then maybe you can be the exception, but realistically if it something that at any moment you truly want to do, it should be there because it will make you happy.
This is my list:
At 46, I have a good amount that I would like to do, but at 18, I have been able to cross a few off my list already. #7: Fall in love, I know I can say that I believe that I am able to cross that off, but to me it serves as a reminder to always fall in love. Fall madly in love every chance you get, because there is no other feeling in the world like it. #18: Change someone's life, it's rather funny that just a day after my 18th birthday I was informed by a good friend about how much I had changed her life, and how now, she was going to use that to change the lives of other's. With that, I could probably cross off #3: Be acknowledged as a person making a change, but I don't think I am ready to do that, not yet. #28: Love myself, even though I am always going to be my harshest critic, thanks to the kind words of someone who means the world to me, no matter how much he has hurt me, I was able to cross this off. #31: Be in a movie, this one almost crosses itself off, between random films I've been in and sneaking into the sequel to 21 Jumpstreet's filming, she can be crossed off. #38: Forgive someone who hurt me, almost there, while I do have that person in mind, I am almost ready to no longer feel hurt.
I know some people may think a list like that would be silly, and some of them are, but at the time they were added, they were everything I wanted, and I know they will still make me happy.
I also know that there are moments in your life, when your world shifts entirely, and you have to change your plans, but that is why you should live like you were dying.
*Anyone game for stealing bowling shoes, or a shopping cart, let me know. (#40 & #45)
**Or any other ones :)
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
as we go on...
I know that it has been forever since the last time I posted but I guess it's easier to be motivated when you know a certain someone was always going to read it and love it. So, this post may be very different than my normal, but...
ANYWAYS!
Soon, I will be traveling back to Washington, D.C. and for those of you whom don't know or haven't had the chance to experience this amazing and life changing place, well you are truly missing out. Every year in this spectacular place, there is an amazing conference held there. However, this is more about the people, rather than the conference that it holds. You see, in this conference people from all over the country are invited to come, and these people are what make the most impact on you...
These people open up, these people give you ever bit of themselves, these people leave you wishing you had a personal jet just so you could see them when your world is falling apart.
They could be people that you thought you knew before you left, and honestly weren't too excited to see, people you never knew and probably would have never thought could be such a great friend. They are the ones that come into your life, and you never want to leave.
Certain Texans that only make you smile when they talk about their love problems, or when they talk about their addiction to glitter, and how you actually impacted them without being anything more than yourself.
Those people from Michigan that call you randomly to cheer you up, or to tell you if they have a Perkins or not.
The girls from Kentucky that are beautiful, inside and out.
The roommates that let you check out their brothers and best friends, and wake up at 5 am just to say goodbye.
The guy from Indiana who holds your hand because you are afraid of escalators.
Plus, that inseparable groups of guys that seem to always make you laugh.
The community group that catches you in your leap to leave everything about your past behind, for the first time.
That one AMAZING woman from California that sees your strength, even when all you can do is cry your eyes out.
Finally, those people that you already knew, but became your best friends.
It's those people that you meet, when you can put your entire self out there, every single bit of who you are, were and could be. Yet, instead of letting you crash to the ground they catch every tear and every bit of hope just to know that you'll make it.
ANYWAYS!
Soon, I will be traveling back to Washington, D.C. and for those of you whom don't know or haven't had the chance to experience this amazing and life changing place, well you are truly missing out. Every year in this spectacular place, there is an amazing conference held there. However, this is more about the people, rather than the conference that it holds. You see, in this conference people from all over the country are invited to come, and these people are what make the most impact on you...
These people open up, these people give you ever bit of themselves, these people leave you wishing you had a personal jet just so you could see them when your world is falling apart.
They could be people that you thought you knew before you left, and honestly weren't too excited to see, people you never knew and probably would have never thought could be such a great friend. They are the ones that come into your life, and you never want to leave.
Certain Texans that only make you smile when they talk about their love problems, or when they talk about their addiction to glitter, and how you actually impacted them without being anything more than yourself.
Those people from Michigan that call you randomly to cheer you up, or to tell you if they have a Perkins or not.
The girls from Kentucky that are beautiful, inside and out.
The roommates that let you check out their brothers and best friends, and wake up at 5 am just to say goodbye.
The guy from Indiana who holds your hand because you are afraid of escalators.
Plus, that inseparable groups of guys that seem to always make you laugh.
The community group that catches you in your leap to leave everything about your past behind, for the first time.
That one AMAZING woman from California that sees your strength, even when all you can do is cry your eyes out.
Finally, those people that you already knew, but became your best friends.
It's those people that you meet, when you can put your entire self out there, every single bit of who you are, were and could be. Yet, instead of letting you crash to the ground they catch every tear and every bit of hope just to know that you'll make it.
♥
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
i made a wish on a shooting star.
I wanted to be a dancer, a math teacher, a mechanic, a fashion designer, a lawyer, and finally an Ag. Teacher. When I was little I believed that I had the whole world at my fingers, and everything was mine for the taking. It didn't matter that I had little rhythm, needed a calculator for simple math, only knew how to change tires and oil filters, would rather have dressed like a boy, and only really wanted to yell ' I OBJECT!,' for no apparent reason. This was something that at the time I could completely over look, because these were my dreams. I danced in my room and with my mom all the time, I loved that hard math was easy for me, working with my hands to accomplish something made me smile, dressing barbies allowed me to create, and being a lawyer would let me help others. Eventually though, all these dreams slipped away, because I saw something else that I thought I loved more. There was the obvious option though, I was going to be a fashion designing dancer, who taught math on the side as I fixed my students' cars while I helped them sue the person who hit their car. Simple, right?
Why was it so simple when I was young to dream that I could do anything, that anything could happen. I believed in fairy tales coming true, first loves that were forever, love at first site, perfect worlds, happiness that never faded and most of all that all my wildest dreams would come true if I wanted them too. As I grew up these ideas disappeared with the hopes of them happening. I was not going to find my Little Mermaid love, my first love destroyed my world, I hadn't had someone see me and fall in love with me forever, my world started to crumble down, I was rarely happy, and I began to not dream. I felt having no expectations for myself or my life would be best, since anything that happened positively would be more than amazing that way.
Every once in a while I go back to that idea, as sad as it really is, it helps. When things just don't go your way it allows you to see the positive. It's one of those things in life that give you hope, even in your darkest moments. I can still believe that something great can still happen. I can still believe that any of my dreams and wishes were possible. Often I wonder why it takes these bad things to make me see the good that can come and why I only thought it was okay to dream when I was young.
Nothing is going to stop me now, not when I have all the potential in the world to do what makes me happy and love every last second of it. I can say that my dreams are going to come true, no matter what it takes to make them happen, because this time I have the passion I need to do it. I have the faith in my abilities, and trust that I can and will make a difference because of THIS dream. My dream, that was not mentioned in more than being listed as becoming an Agricultural Educator. I know that this way, I can have my fairy tale, because I will be in love with my job, and I will have my wildest dreams come true, since I will be helping others make their come true.
When I was little I never wanted to be an Ag. Teacher, but when I found something that gave me a reason to dream again I could see the world changing in front of me. There comes a time in everyone's life when we have that moment, that 'ta-dah' moment, and we realize that everything that has happened before doesn't matter, because we have our chance to make our wishes and dreams reality, but we aren't ready to follow. That moment came when I was 15 at a life changing conference for kids all over the state my age. I don't know if anyone else had their moment that week, but maybe they are in that same boat with me.
I made a wish on a shooting star, and now, no matter where I go I will make that wish come true.
Why was it so simple when I was young to dream that I could do anything, that anything could happen. I believed in fairy tales coming true, first loves that were forever, love at first site, perfect worlds, happiness that never faded and most of all that all my wildest dreams would come true if I wanted them too. As I grew up these ideas disappeared with the hopes of them happening. I was not going to find my Little Mermaid love, my first love destroyed my world, I hadn't had someone see me and fall in love with me forever, my world started to crumble down, I was rarely happy, and I began to not dream. I felt having no expectations for myself or my life would be best, since anything that happened positively would be more than amazing that way.
Every once in a while I go back to that idea, as sad as it really is, it helps. When things just don't go your way it allows you to see the positive. It's one of those things in life that give you hope, even in your darkest moments. I can still believe that something great can still happen. I can still believe that any of my dreams and wishes were possible. Often I wonder why it takes these bad things to make me see the good that can come and why I only thought it was okay to dream when I was young.
Nothing is going to stop me now, not when I have all the potential in the world to do what makes me happy and love every last second of it. I can say that my dreams are going to come true, no matter what it takes to make them happen, because this time I have the passion I need to do it. I have the faith in my abilities, and trust that I can and will make a difference because of THIS dream. My dream, that was not mentioned in more than being listed as becoming an Agricultural Educator. I know that this way, I can have my fairy tale, because I will be in love with my job, and I will have my wildest dreams come true, since I will be helping others make their come true.
When I was little I never wanted to be an Ag. Teacher, but when I found something that gave me a reason to dream again I could see the world changing in front of me. There comes a time in everyone's life when we have that moment, that 'ta-dah' moment, and we realize that everything that has happened before doesn't matter, because we have our chance to make our wishes and dreams reality, but we aren't ready to follow. That moment came when I was 15 at a life changing conference for kids all over the state my age. I don't know if anyone else had their moment that week, but maybe they are in that same boat with me.
I made a wish on a shooting star, and now, no matter where I go I will make that wish come true.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.
Who decides whether or not to judge us? Is it more us judging ourselves that allows other to believe that we aren't great the way we are, or do we unintentionally thrive on the views others have towards us? We see someone whisper and it's about us. We catch someone thinking and it's them making a 'face' at us. We jump to the conclusion that someone is judging us, every second of every day. Most people however, have better things to do with their time than spend every waking second devoted to our demise. In the long run though, do we do the same to others? Are we allowing judgement to be passed on us, because we are passing it ourselves?
The idea that we as a human race truly have NOTHING better to do with our lives than establish an idea on a person is rather sad. No one in the world can say that they haven't judged someone before. No one can say that even if they have, they knew everything about the person and their life before they did either. So why do we do it? Most people are competitive in nature, but striving to be better than every person, wouldn't we realize how much that will actually hurt us in the long run. There will always be someone who may not be as perfect as you though, as self-centered, as annoying, or as strong as we'd like to believe. There will always be people who may have a smile on their face, laughing, and being 'happy' while at the same time their entire life is falling apart.
This judgement that we pass can actually even cause more hurt than we may think, and often can be just enough to completely push someone over the edge. Those people who have their lives 'all together' tend to be the ones who have the hardest times. They have to maintain this life that they may not actually want, and at the same time they are being prosecuted by everyone for have this life. Because of this we ourselves start to question even more who we are, and why we are the way we are. Don't get me wrong this can be a good thing and can allow us to better ourselves. At the same time though, we can develop a lot of self-hate because we don't feel that we can make ourselves better, and already have come to hate what we are.
This judgement is brought full circle with this idea. We are judged because we allow the idea of being judged get to us. We feel that because someone else is judging us, we can judge ourselves, thus comparing ourselves and judging again. I know there probably won't be a time or a place were I can say I've walked in and not sized up my competition, checked for pretty girls, looked at the guys in the room, or decided if they people in there would be people I liked or even like me. But, if I can realize that I know I am not perfect and no one else is, then I can wait and see their imperfections that complete the person they are.
As people we should never say I'm sorry I can't be perfect, because we shouldn't want to be.
The idea that we as a human race truly have NOTHING better to do with our lives than establish an idea on a person is rather sad. No one in the world can say that they haven't judged someone before. No one can say that even if they have, they knew everything about the person and their life before they did either. So why do we do it? Most people are competitive in nature, but striving to be better than every person, wouldn't we realize how much that will actually hurt us in the long run. There will always be someone who may not be as perfect as you though, as self-centered, as annoying, or as strong as we'd like to believe. There will always be people who may have a smile on their face, laughing, and being 'happy' while at the same time their entire life is falling apart.
This judgement that we pass can actually even cause more hurt than we may think, and often can be just enough to completely push someone over the edge. Those people who have their lives 'all together' tend to be the ones who have the hardest times. They have to maintain this life that they may not actually want, and at the same time they are being prosecuted by everyone for have this life. Because of this we ourselves start to question even more who we are, and why we are the way we are. Don't get me wrong this can be a good thing and can allow us to better ourselves. At the same time though, we can develop a lot of self-hate because we don't feel that we can make ourselves better, and already have come to hate what we are.
This judgement is brought full circle with this idea. We are judged because we allow the idea of being judged get to us. We feel that because someone else is judging us, we can judge ourselves, thus comparing ourselves and judging again. I know there probably won't be a time or a place were I can say I've walked in and not sized up my competition, checked for pretty girls, looked at the guys in the room, or decided if they people in there would be people I liked or even like me. But, if I can realize that I know I am not perfect and no one else is, then I can wait and see their imperfections that complete the person they are.
As people we should never say I'm sorry I can't be perfect, because we shouldn't want to be.
we'll i've been afraid of changing.
In life we have those moments that change us. They may not always be for the best but they do indeed, change us. We continue with each day living our lives to be who we think we are and what we want to be. As we do this we can sometimes even see those glimmers of our past, and the lives we once had. Whether it's through pictures, songs, seeing a certain person, or maybe just a simple word that reminds you of that one moment, when you thought you had everything you ever wanted.We look past these little moments that allow us to never forget the good things, and usually only see the things that remind us of the bad changes.
Although, seeing the good things makes us want to continue to be happy and try to recreate these moments where we scored the winning point, aced the test, or met the person we fell in love with, the bad things are also there for a reason. If we always spent our time only seeing the good we could never learn from that bad right? However, what happens when we reach that point where none of it is good nor bad? Do we simply move along with our lives as though these times never happened or realize that maybe we were never meant to have that life? We can see that both good and bad things begin and end, then begin again only to end and repeat.
More to the point however, should we and do we spend too much time living in the past, in that life that we wish we still had and in the mistakes that we made. We are reminded every day to make choices. We chose what we want to do, and then begin to see how our changes have effected us when we are only able to look back. Some of the easiest ways to look back can be in our lives without much effort. Most teenagers take thousands of pictures every year and we put them everywhere; facebook, blogs, twitter, lockers and our walls. We remind ourselves without even trying of what we had and could have been.
But like I said before we can really see how our changes have done exactly that, changed us, we must have time.
As I begin to look to my walls and am reminded of all my changes whether my hair, friends, sports, growth, and new experiences, I can really decide who I want to be. I can also clearly see who I am not, I am no longer, and whom I do not want to be. When you decide this, you can begin to put that part of your past away, and become the person you want to change into.
We'll I've been afraid of changing, but sometimes it is exactly what we need to do.
Although, seeing the good things makes us want to continue to be happy and try to recreate these moments where we scored the winning point, aced the test, or met the person we fell in love with, the bad things are also there for a reason. If we always spent our time only seeing the good we could never learn from that bad right? However, what happens when we reach that point where none of it is good nor bad? Do we simply move along with our lives as though these times never happened or realize that maybe we were never meant to have that life? We can see that both good and bad things begin and end, then begin again only to end and repeat.
More to the point however, should we and do we spend too much time living in the past, in that life that we wish we still had and in the mistakes that we made. We are reminded every day to make choices. We chose what we want to do, and then begin to see how our changes have effected us when we are only able to look back. Some of the easiest ways to look back can be in our lives without much effort. Most teenagers take thousands of pictures every year and we put them everywhere; facebook, blogs, twitter, lockers and our walls. We remind ourselves without even trying of what we had and could have been.
But like I said before we can really see how our changes have done exactly that, changed us, we must have time.
As I begin to look to my walls and am reminded of all my changes whether my hair, friends, sports, growth, and new experiences, I can really decide who I want to be. I can also clearly see who I am not, I am no longer, and whom I do not want to be. When you decide this, you can begin to put that part of your past away, and become the person you want to change into.
We'll I've been afraid of changing, but sometimes it is exactly what we need to do.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)