Who decides whether or not to judge us? Is it more us judging ourselves that allows other to believe that we aren't great the way we are, or do we unintentionally thrive on the views others have towards us? We see someone whisper and it's about us. We catch someone thinking and it's them making a 'face' at us. We jump to the conclusion that someone is judging us, every second of every day. Most people however, have better things to do with their time than spend every waking second devoted to our demise. In the long run though, do we do the same to others? Are we allowing judgement to be passed on us, because we are passing it ourselves?
The idea that we as a human race truly have NOTHING better to do with our lives than establish an idea on a person is rather sad. No one in the world can say that they haven't judged someone before. No one can say that even if they have, they knew everything about the person and their life before they did either. So why do we do it? Most people are competitive in nature, but striving to be better than every person, wouldn't we realize how much that will actually hurt us in the long run. There will always be someone who may not be as perfect as you though, as self-centered, as annoying, or as strong as we'd like to believe. There will always be people who may have a smile on their face, laughing, and being 'happy' while at the same time their entire life is falling apart.
This judgement that we pass can actually even cause more hurt than we may think, and often can be just enough to completely push someone over the edge. Those people who have their lives 'all together' tend to be the ones who have the hardest times. They have to maintain this life that they may not actually want, and at the same time they are being prosecuted by everyone for have this life. Because of this we ourselves start to question even more who we are, and why we are the way we are. Don't get me wrong this can be a good thing and can allow us to better ourselves. At the same time though, we can develop a lot of self-hate because we don't feel that we can make ourselves better, and already have come to hate what we are.
This judgement is brought full circle with this idea. We are judged because we allow the idea of being judged get to us. We feel that because someone else is judging us, we can judge ourselves, thus comparing ourselves and judging again. I know there probably won't be a time or a place were I can say I've walked in and not sized up my competition, checked for pretty girls, looked at the guys in the room, or decided if they people in there would be people I liked or even like me. But, if I can realize that I know I am not perfect and no one else is, then I can wait and see their imperfections that complete the person they are.
As people we should never say I'm sorry I can't be perfect, because we shouldn't want to be.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
we'll i've been afraid of changing.
In life we have those moments that change us. They may not always be for the best but they do indeed, change us. We continue with each day living our lives to be who we think we are and what we want to be. As we do this we can sometimes even see those glimmers of our past, and the lives we once had. Whether it's through pictures, songs, seeing a certain person, or maybe just a simple word that reminds you of that one moment, when you thought you had everything you ever wanted.We look past these little moments that allow us to never forget the good things, and usually only see the things that remind us of the bad changes.
Although, seeing the good things makes us want to continue to be happy and try to recreate these moments where we scored the winning point, aced the test, or met the person we fell in love with, the bad things are also there for a reason. If we always spent our time only seeing the good we could never learn from that bad right? However, what happens when we reach that point where none of it is good nor bad? Do we simply move along with our lives as though these times never happened or realize that maybe we were never meant to have that life? We can see that both good and bad things begin and end, then begin again only to end and repeat.
More to the point however, should we and do we spend too much time living in the past, in that life that we wish we still had and in the mistakes that we made. We are reminded every day to make choices. We chose what we want to do, and then begin to see how our changes have effected us when we are only able to look back. Some of the easiest ways to look back can be in our lives without much effort. Most teenagers take thousands of pictures every year and we put them everywhere; facebook, blogs, twitter, lockers and our walls. We remind ourselves without even trying of what we had and could have been.
But like I said before we can really see how our changes have done exactly that, changed us, we must have time.
As I begin to look to my walls and am reminded of all my changes whether my hair, friends, sports, growth, and new experiences, I can really decide who I want to be. I can also clearly see who I am not, I am no longer, and whom I do not want to be. When you decide this, you can begin to put that part of your past away, and become the person you want to change into.
We'll I've been afraid of changing, but sometimes it is exactly what we need to do.
Although, seeing the good things makes us want to continue to be happy and try to recreate these moments where we scored the winning point, aced the test, or met the person we fell in love with, the bad things are also there for a reason. If we always spent our time only seeing the good we could never learn from that bad right? However, what happens when we reach that point where none of it is good nor bad? Do we simply move along with our lives as though these times never happened or realize that maybe we were never meant to have that life? We can see that both good and bad things begin and end, then begin again only to end and repeat.
More to the point however, should we and do we spend too much time living in the past, in that life that we wish we still had and in the mistakes that we made. We are reminded every day to make choices. We chose what we want to do, and then begin to see how our changes have effected us when we are only able to look back. Some of the easiest ways to look back can be in our lives without much effort. Most teenagers take thousands of pictures every year and we put them everywhere; facebook, blogs, twitter, lockers and our walls. We remind ourselves without even trying of what we had and could have been.
But like I said before we can really see how our changes have done exactly that, changed us, we must have time.
As I begin to look to my walls and am reminded of all my changes whether my hair, friends, sports, growth, and new experiences, I can really decide who I want to be. I can also clearly see who I am not, I am no longer, and whom I do not want to be. When you decide this, you can begin to put that part of your past away, and become the person you want to change into.
We'll I've been afraid of changing, but sometimes it is exactly what we need to do.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
there goes my life.
Less than 150 days, till I graduate, till I become an adult, if that is my choice and enter the real world, or I can continue to educate myself and slowly post-pone this new reality. Each day we are faced with many different choices, chocolate or white milk at lunch, sleep a little later or come in early, study now or just take the chance. We begin to become accustom to this way of life and no longer question our actions day to day, but just assume that each day we will have and it will be as productive as the last and nothing will ever change that.
I've learned though in life you have no guarantees, at all. You aren't promised anything, and even those whom do make promises often let us down by not following through with these 'promises.' We still continue to maintain this way, while things around us change, and our choices effect every single thing that we do, and who we become. In an instant our entire lives may flash before us, because we've made a bad choice.
This choice could be to be mean to our friends, cheat on a test, or even things that can complete destroy your life taking away everything you have worked for and hold dear to you. This is something that I can personally say has happened to me.
When people ask me about it, I can only tell the truth, and although every time it stings when I think of how much I lost, I know it is my fault and I must pay for MY choice. No one made me do what I did, and no one can fix it or really relate to it. That is because it was my life that I messed up. I didn't realize that with one little choice everything I love could be lost.
This is a major reason that in less than 150 days I will have to start over, because everything that I have known for 13 years will be gone, and again my life will be turned upside down. It won't be an ending it will be a new beginning, and this time I won't take the things, or people that I love for granted.
The hardest thing to watch, is the moment when you think, there goes my life.
I've learned though in life you have no guarantees, at all. You aren't promised anything, and even those whom do make promises often let us down by not following through with these 'promises.' We still continue to maintain this way, while things around us change, and our choices effect every single thing that we do, and who we become. In an instant our entire lives may flash before us, because we've made a bad choice.
This choice could be to be mean to our friends, cheat on a test, or even things that can complete destroy your life taking away everything you have worked for and hold dear to you. This is something that I can personally say has happened to me.
When people ask me about it, I can only tell the truth, and although every time it stings when I think of how much I lost, I know it is my fault and I must pay for MY choice. No one made me do what I did, and no one can fix it or really relate to it. That is because it was my life that I messed up. I didn't realize that with one little choice everything I love could be lost.
This is a major reason that in less than 150 days I will have to start over, because everything that I have known for 13 years will be gone, and again my life will be turned upside down. It won't be an ending it will be a new beginning, and this time I won't take the things, or people that I love for granted.
The hardest thing to watch, is the moment when you think, there goes my life.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
you gonna shine again.
After every New Year's, we only hear about all the resolutions and chances that everyone has and how thankful they are that such a 'horrible' year is now over. However, do we really think that we are going to change in this new year, or are we just going to simply give up half way, a quarter of the way, or even right away? People look at the idea of starting a new year as a fresh start, and obviously it is, but do the people that want to 'change' have the best plan in mind?
When you think about how often we don't follow through with our changes and goals, do we more often think that we couldn't change and that is why it didn't work, or should we consider that maybe we can't change because we don't need too? We as humans are not perfect, and that is why we all have a past. Some are more accepting of this past than others, and some people cannot over look it at all, making it so that others as well, can not look past it. Once in a good while we do find those that are accepting of it, and show us more things about ourselves than we could ever notice.
Those people are very rare, and when we do stumble upon them we must be sure to appreciate them. They become our friends, family, relations, and our dependents. Even if in the end they leave, for the time that they are there, they are all we need. As time goes on they become part of our past, present, and maybe our futures. They see past the negatives in our lives, and the things that we want to change. While at this same time we maybe be trying to get rid of the things that they have come to love about us. The fact that we aren't perfect, as they can see, and maybe we are to them, is what makes us, us.
This imperfection is what leads us to see flaws in ourselves. These flaws can become all that we focus on, thus being the reason that we want to begin a new year by making ourselves into something that we like and want to be. We all have scars, memories, pictures, broken and hurtful in our lives, that lead us to believe that we are no good. We must remember though, those who still love us for us, so while you may be successful in a resolution for change, if you aren't remember the ones who don't want you to be any thing other than what you are.
In that sense you can change your resolution to seeing the beauty in yourself that others see.
In the end, you gonna shine again.
When you think about how often we don't follow through with our changes and goals, do we more often think that we couldn't change and that is why it didn't work, or should we consider that maybe we can't change because we don't need too? We as humans are not perfect, and that is why we all have a past. Some are more accepting of this past than others, and some people cannot over look it at all, making it so that others as well, can not look past it. Once in a good while we do find those that are accepting of it, and show us more things about ourselves than we could ever notice.
Those people are very rare, and when we do stumble upon them we must be sure to appreciate them. They become our friends, family, relations, and our dependents. Even if in the end they leave, for the time that they are there, they are all we need. As time goes on they become part of our past, present, and maybe our futures. They see past the negatives in our lives, and the things that we want to change. While at this same time we maybe be trying to get rid of the things that they have come to love about us. The fact that we aren't perfect, as they can see, and maybe we are to them, is what makes us, us.
This imperfection is what leads us to see flaws in ourselves. These flaws can become all that we focus on, thus being the reason that we want to begin a new year by making ourselves into something that we like and want to be. We all have scars, memories, pictures, broken and hurtful in our lives, that lead us to believe that we are no good. We must remember though, those who still love us for us, so while you may be successful in a resolution for change, if you aren't remember the ones who don't want you to be any thing other than what you are.
In that sense you can change your resolution to seeing the beauty in yourself that others see.
In the end, you gonna shine again.
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